|June 2, 2012
Clint Eastwood's advice in "Dirty Harry" that
opinions, like certain body parts, are best kept to
Eternity in College
wife and I returned home to Minnesota in May, after spending
2 months on the road in our motorhome. It was a great time,
we missed some lingering northern winter weather as we
lounged in Mississippi, Florida, and South Carolina. We came
home to foot-tall grass (our house-sitter failed us in that
area, claiming a flat tire on the riding lawnmower), and a
mountain of mail.
Getting all those envelopes at
once made me realize that my wife and I, at our age, have
been targeted by sellers of rascal scooters, walk-in bath
tubs, hearing aids, eye glasses, senior housing projects,
no-physical overpriced life insurance, cemetery plots, and
funeral and cremation plans. But, the one that really got me
was a full-color glossy brochure from my old college, St.
John's University in Minnesota, run by the Benedictine
The brochure cover had a photo of
college cemetery in the trees near the lake, with the
words "FOR ETERNITY" in big red letters. The
copywriter reminded me to "take comfort that one day we
will all be together", and paragraph after paragraph
tried to convince me that dying was the thing to do, and I
should be looking forward to the trip. Words like "peaceful"
and "harmony" were used a lot, and by the time I
got to the last page, I was beginning to realize what a fool
I'd been, thinking I was going to live forever.
back page had what appeared to be testimonials from those
already buried there, and only suspension of disbelief kept
me from wondering how the college obtained them:
here for eterntity"
"I met my
wife when I was a student at Saint John's so it's like
coming home .."
"I expect the
kids and grandkids will visit during Homecoming!"
so peaceful here."
As I pondered a
decision on this matter, my phone rang. It was Karen down at
the local State Farm office, wondering if I had a few
minutes to discuss buying a "final expenses" life
insurance policy. I told her I wasn't planning on going
anywhere just yet, but would let her know.
Air Aviation Referral Service
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