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Banking
Columnist: Ron Howes
ron@global-air.com

Banking not as I remember it.
I spent most of my adult life in the banking business, until leaving it 12 years ago to start and run our software and internet businesses. I'd been president of a couple of banks, but suddenly, I was on the outside looking in. After years of comfortably sitting at that nice desk, in that nice office, I was now just another guy standing in line to make a deposit, apply for a loan, or get my parking ticket validated.

Fortunately, my business did pretty well, and I survived. And, I now know a lot more about being a customer than I did when I was in banking. Back then, I thought the customers loved me and the bank, and they were happy. I think I was wrong.

Sometimes, it is the little things.
Recently, my bank pension kicked-in. I'd been with one bank long enough to actually qualify for something. (Bankers move around, as you may have noticed.) So, I went down to the local branch and opened an account, so they could deposit the pension automatically. The check was so little, I worried it might get lost on the way to my house. When I asked about getting an ATM card, the lady said "Your account has to be open for 6 months before we give you one of those". I'm a retired employee of that bank, so if all goes well, I'll get my card as soon as those 6 months are up.

I stop down at that bank now and then to make a deposit, or cash a check. I started to notice they had to look up my account every time to see if I have any money. As a young teller, I was taught to remember my customers, especially those that could cover a $20 check.

Don't believe me, ask my dog.
I usually go to their auto bank, and my cocker spaniel "Nuggie" likes to come along and get a dog biscuit. Lately, I've started to worry about how the bank is doing, because the dog biscuits are getting smaller. Last week, my dog looked at the one-inch biscuit, looked up at me, back at the biscuit, and I could tell she was thinking about changing banks.

	To be continued.
Do you have a product or website you'd like to promote? Would you like to write a column for us? Email or call us at 763-389-9399.

Songs have been written about Henry Earl, and his face is on t-shirts and coffee mugs all over America. Click for more.

Hemp was the primary crop grown at Mount Vernon by George Washington. The real reasons why marijuana is now illegal will surprise you. Click here for more.

Learn ''Mob Speak'' and talk like the Sopranos. Click here.

By eating dinner for breakfast, and breakfast for dinner, Tricia Cunningham lost 170 lbs.

Compare the buying power of Jack Nicholson and other movie stars, to yours, by clicking here.

On Good Friday, many crucifixions will occur in the Philippines. Thousands of spectators, secular pilgrims in an age of cultural tourism, will witness the spectacle.

Police in Florida are going to reward teenager ''good driving'' by pulling them over and handing out free movie tickets. What could go wrong with your civil liberties?

It was the $100 question on ''Millionaire'', and she was very nervous. How smart are you? Click here to find out.

Osama has won. Denver airport security made Seaworld penguins get out of cages and go thru metal detector.

Personality disorders may affect some people you know. Or, are they the normal ones? Click here to take the test.

A teenager has suggested high schools start teaching ''Common Sense 101''. Good idea, read her editorial.

After WWII, a story circulated that surplus jeeps in crates could be bought for $50. Was it true? Click to find out.

General William Westmoreland has died at the age of 91.

Everything you want to know about chocolate. And more.

You can't apply for this card. But, if you are rich enough, they might offer you one, maybe.

Click here to see the real Homeland Security Advisory System that nobody can remember.

Red Skelton did pantomimes on his show, so the only sound was the audience laughing, perfect for laugh track usage.

A Miami, Florida woman stripped off her clothes in court and got down on all fours. The judge didn't seem to notice her.

Mosquitoes!

They've been around for 30 million years, and there are over 2,700 species.
	More

A Chicago bank robber sent a note demanding money thru the bank's drive-in pneumatic tube. The teller sent back $56,000, and the guy drove away.

This Space For Rent

Sell anything for free at www.zipzapads.com

763-389-9399

What is Dihydrogen Monoxide? Click here to find out.

Last October we reported this L39-C Jet Trainer missing in Washington State. Hikers recently found the crash site, with the remains of the two pilots. eBay link no longer works. The photo used is the actual plane in flight.

Rather than let all drivers have access to under-used car pool lane, built with everyone's taxes, the State of Minnesota is selling passes to those who can afford it.

This is news? Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall visited terrorist attack survivors in a London hospital.

Bill and Hillary Clinton nearly took over Billy Graham's New York crusade, conning a Hillary presidential endorsement from Graham. Pick from several articles by clicking here.

The church-going leaders in Gilbert, Minnesota refuse to allow ''Whorehouse Days'' to take place this year. Back in the logging days, they didn't turn down the money that flowed into town every Saturday night.

The Deep Impact probe made a direct hit on Comet Tempel 1 at 23,000 mph on July 4, 2005. Click for more.

In 1968, the most trusted man in America, Walter Cronkite, told his viewers the war in Vietnam could not be won. They believed him, and so did President Johnson.

A Capitol 4th of July from PBS. Tonight at 8 pm Eastern.

The Taliban are still pretty tough on their women.

Cadillac Jack's in Deadwood, South Dakota

Warren Buffett is the world's greatest stock market investor. He lives in a house he bought years ago for $31,500, and when he loaned his daughter $20 to get out of a parking garage, she had to write him a check.

John Walton was killed in an ultra-light plane crash in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Walton was the son of Wal-Mart founder Sam Walton, and Forbes Magazine lists him as the 11th richest person in the world. Click for more.

Take a break and sing along to this song. If you can.

E85 fuel is 85% ethanol, and many newer cars and trucks are designed to run on it. Click here to learn more.

Paul Winchell, and his puppets Jerry Mahoney and Knucklehead Smiff, entertained us during the early years of television. He later became the voice of ''Tigger''.

In 2003, the CIA kidnapped Abu Omar, an Egyptian cleric, as he walked in Milan, Italy. Omar was taken to Egypt for interrogation and torture, and has not been seen since.

Volkswagen is denying responsibility for the VW ad currently circulating on the Internet. Click here to see it.

Howard Hughes was much stranger than you thought.

Lino Fasio, a New Jersey real estate developer trying to buy the Marlboro, NJ airport and build houses on it, died in a plane crash that may not have been an accident.

Where has time gone? Jane Russell is 84 today.

A friend of mine is a beekeeper, and he tells me bees are needed in greenhouses for pollination. But, the bees can't see the sky, so signs are put up for them to read directions.

The Vatican Bank scandal in 1982 was woven into the plot of Mario Puzzo's book and movie ''Godfather Part III''. Police ruled Calvi's death a suicide. But, in 2003, the courts ruled it was the Italian Mafia who were responsible for the death.

June 19, 1982

Right after defense contractor Mitchell Wade paid $700,000 too much for Rep. Randy Cunningham's house, he started getting new government contracts. (We pick on Dems too.)

CBS ''60 Minutes'' reported on Operation Echelon back in 2000. Don't think for a moment the top secret spy program has gone away. They probably already know I posted this.

Finding the right gift for the Father is a challenge.

Employers are spying on their employees big-time.

Surely, it can't be 25 years since the movie ''Airplane'' came out. And, don't call me Shirley. Click here for more.

We're guessing there won't be any more high school trips to Aruba. If you've ever wanted to go there, now is probably the time, no lines and real deals on airfare and lodging.

After trying to break Kevin McBride's arm, Mike Tyson quits after 6 rounds. Says he won't fight again.

Read Jack Nicholson's ''You can't handle the truth'' speech, and 19 more classic movie speeches, by clicking here.

Possibly the last person on earth not to know about this.

Want to live the life of danger? Apply for job as police chief in this Mexican town. No pension, but nice uniform.

The Battle of Midway was the turning point of the war.

Airplanes are a lot like automobiles. Click Here.

What ever happened to the Spruce Goose? Find out.

Get a FREE DONUT today at any Krispy Kreme.

The Top 10 Most Dangerous Jobs. Click Here for more.

A former British ambassador to Uzbekistan, Craig Murray, says the CIA brought many prisoners to the Central Asian nation for interrogation, knowing full well that the Uzbeks would use torture during interrogation.

Who makes political contributions, and who gets them? In case you've been living under a rock, your favorite politician is bought and paid for. Click here for more.

Of the 4.7 million U.S. soldiers that served in WWI, only 30 survive, including Lloyd Brown, age 103. Click for more.

The National Memorial Day Concert from Washington, DC on PBS. Tonight on PBS at 8 pm Eastern. Click for more.

COINGATE! Coin dealer Tom Noe got the job handling rare coin investments for Ohio after making big contributions to State GOP. Now, he and $10 million in rare coins are gone.

The FDA says that Viagra may cause blindness.

GuideOne Insurance Co. provides zero deductible, if you are in an accident on the way to church. Click for more.

Sexual harassment lawsuits are increasing, and are expensive. Be careful at work, and click here for more.

Nebraska man loses 500 lbs. in one year, down to only 580. Maybe I can lose those 30 vanity pounds I'm packing.

No trip to South Dakota is complete without a stop at Wall Drug for buffalo burgers and souvenirs. Click here.

Divorcing E.F. Hutton, Marjorie Merriweather Post explored the world on the ''Sea Cloud'' with daughter, actress Dina Merrill (Mrs. Cliff Robertson), and a crew of 72.

The U.S. Health and Human Services Department says Medicaid programs covering prescription drugs must cover Viagra, and that includes about 200 Level 3 sex offenders in New York State alone, who are getting the drug.

This story is straight from the ''why don't we just tell 'em how to do it'' department.

Photos published in The Sun of Saddam Hussein in his underwear have many in the Arab world , and the U.S. Government, upset. Click here for more.

Father Guido Sarducci graciously offered to step in for the ailing Pope, and deliver the annual Easter message.

My computer was so slow. The Registry and Cache were clogged with unneeded files, it was a real mess. After running ''Crap Cleaner'', my computer ran like new. Click here for a free download at www.ccleaner.com

NEWSWEEK retracts story about desecration of Quran at Guantanamo Bay, after riots kill 15 worldwide. Well-organized protests included professionally painted signs in English, for the benefit of American TV audiences.

These stewardesses lost their pensions when the airline went broke. So, they're raising money selling a calendar.

My friend Dave Johnson in Abilene, Texas, is the world's second greatest Trivia expert.

Can you see it?
Can you see it? There is a giraffe in this picture.

Stare at this image long enough, and you should see a giraffe.

SpaceShipOne is coming to Oshkosh. Click for more.

40 pilots arrested for collecting social security disability. The U.S. Attorney's office in Fresno, CA says ''You can't really fly a plane if you're telling the Social Security Administration you have a disabling back condition''. Really?

Some days, there is absolutely nothing to report on.

Ten L.A. County deputies end car chase by firing 120 rounds, wounding unarmed driver in blocked-off street. Sheriff Lee Baca holds press conference to justify incident.

Donate your unused frequent flyer miles to help fly our soldiers home from overseas. Click here for more.

MSNBC Developing News Story

The top story on NBC News tonight (May 6, 2005) is a report that the U.S. may attack North Korea and take out nuclear sites. Click here for more.

Mike Spicer of Clay Center, Kansas, shot from the ground by fugitive while helping in police search. Click for story.

Our friend, Barb Price of The Plane Exchange in Montana, offers a 3-day course in becoming an aircraft broker.

Boats named ''Maid of the Mist'' have been carrying tourists under Niagara Falls for 150 years. Click here to learn more.

Woman arrested in Mansfield, Ohio for not paying 96 cent city tax. Ok, they really didn't send the swat team, but it would have been a nice touch. Click here for the story.

Save a bundle. Get married in Las Vegas and have your friends and family watch it on the internet. Click Here.

She ran away from 14 Bridesmaids and this? Click here to see Jennifer Wilbanks' bridal gift registry at Macy's.

Laura Bush poked fun at the President during the 91st Annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner.

Claiming economic benefits to the community, baseball and football owners continue to seek public funding of stadiums.

Here's a gal with a pony-tail that is too tight. Jennifer Wilbanks made it all up. Click here to learn more.

This Delta Flight Attendant was fired for posting this photo on an internet blog. Too revealing for Delta. Click for more.

They're Back!

239 ft. long and 79 ft. tall, the fuselage of the Airbus A380 is as big as the Howard Hughes ''Spruce Goose''.

80 year old Roger Levering, of Cleveland, Ohio, still flies his buddies for a $100 hamburger every week.

Lost? Start a fire with a can of Coke and a chocolate bar.

Anna Ayala, the woman who claimed she found a finger in her Wendy's chili, was arrested at her Las Vegas home Thursday night. A Friday Press conference is scheduled.

Michigan to establish a ''do not spam'' list of children's email addresses. What could possibly go wrong?

What could go wrong here? Someone loans a Sanctus Seraphin violin, and it is left in a parked car.

A German army deserter, Cardinal Ratzinger became known as ''God's Rotweiller'' for his stern handling, even using excommunication, of anyone with progressive ideas.

An image of the Blessed Virgin Mary has been found in a walkway beneath a Chicago highway. Thousands flock to it.

Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall were entertained at a lavish White House black-tie dinner.

Wendy's is offering a $50,000 reward if you can tell them where the finger came from.

Millions of taxpayers are scrambling to make the April 15th deadline with the IRS.

Spammers are already conning faithful Catholics with misleading emails offering books about the Pope. But, links go to other products for sale.

Undersecretary of State, John Bolton, wants to be the next UN Ambassador. And, ''Just For Men'' has a job for him.

Spammer Jeremy Jaynes sent up to 10 million emails a day.

Camilla Parker Bowles is now Duchess of Cornwall.

A total solar eclipse, as seen from Venezuela.

The Pope's funeral was the largest one in history.

Tom Delay (R) in trouble with the Ethics Committee. Again.

Sarsaparilla was the favorite drink of movie cowboys in the 1940's (real cowboys drank hard liquor), but it seems to have disappeared in modern times. Where did it go?

Why did daylight saving time start, and why does it still continue? Click Here to find out.

On April 1st, 1998, Burger King introduced the Left-Handed Whopper, to better serve millions of left-handed customers.

Jane Wyman played a stewardess in a movie and wound-up on an American Airlines postcard. Click here for more.

Johnnie Cochran - dead at 67. Click here for more.

Banks charge $29 bucks for an overdraft for the same reason a Black Lab licks himself. Because they can.

8.2 quake near Sumatra, not far from the location of the December 26th quake. Tsunami alert goes out.

In 2005, Father Guido Sarducci graciously offered to step in for the ailing Pope John Paul II , and delivered the annual Easter message.

To help diabetic daughter, dad invests $18 million in failing company, working on drug. It works and FDA approves.

Before toilet paper, what did people use? For some, the Sears Roebuck catalog, or maybe a handy corn cob.

A heart-breaking story. Click here for more.

Because a Colorado jury consulted the bible, a murder's death sentence was thrown out. Click Here for more.

Scientists Announce:
I'll drink to that!

Moderate drinking may prevent Type 2 Diabetes.

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Are teachers overreacting these days? Calling the cops to control a 5 year old girl? Read the story and decide.

Minnesota Highway Patrol officers are stopping anyone they want to, to see if they have their seat belt on. A lot easier than saying ''I thought your tail light was out''.

Travel to www.ireland.com to check-out the St. Patrick's Day festivities. Click Here.

Happy St.
Pat's Day

Wearin' of
the Green

Just like the old days. In Manning, North Dakota, 9 year old Saje Beard rides to school on the family mule.

The independent engineering specialist who led an investigation into leaks at the $14.6 billion Big Dig project says he can no longer vouch for the safety of its tunnels.

Check-out Steve Weaver's aviation blog by clicking here.

American Muslims are upset that the TV show ''24'' portrays Muslims as blood-thirsty terrorists who want to destroy us.

Michael Jackson is cash-broke, but may not be bankrupt.

Stupid Criminal of the Week

Man steals ATM from Walmart, spends the $60,000. Then calls FBI to ask what the sentence would be. Gets caught.
Story

The End is Near.

Florida to increase tax on toilet paper

A former U.S. Marine who participated in capturing ousted Iraqi President Saddam Hussein said the public version of his capture was fabricated.

A Pennsylvania man who likes sheep, misunderstands the term ''Animal Husbandry''. Click here for more.

Mike Tice is the lowest-paid NFL Coach at $1 million a year.

There are visitors
online right now.

My friend Dave Johnson is one heck of a saxophone player.

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